Our daily Cockroach. Facing Our Challenges!
Don’t leave for tomorrow what can be solved today!
It was a night like any other…
I had been up very early to catch a flight and I was happy to finally arrive at my destination, Cabo San Lucas, a beach town on the South part of the Baja, in Mexico, my small piece of heaven, the place where I recharge and connect with nature and spirit.
After settling in, I showered and went to bed. In the middle of the night, I wake up to use bathroom. When I walk in and turn on the lights, for my surprise, I am faced with a cockroach, black and reddish. It startles me! I scream a shy scream of fear. I confess, I never liked cockroaches. I remember the many chocking and unpredictable encounters I have had throughout my life.
Cockroaches have no sense of danger. When caught by surprise, they come running towards you or fly like those uncontrollable helicopters with no sense of direction hitting anything in sight. If you are standing in the middle of the room, be sure it will hit you, right on your head. It is necessary for me to say that I was not pleased by my encounter with the roach that night in my bathroom. Still feeling sleepy, I considered my options:
1- To wake up my husband, screaming begging him to “take care of the cockroach”. This is what I call, to outsource our problems.
2- Use the bathroom, pretending the roach was not there. This is what I call, to burry your head in the sand: ostrich style.
3- Face the roach and solve the problem! This is the most admirable attitude but usually not our first choice in life.
4- Escape from the roach. That is usually my favourite option when it comes to cockroaches and other things, at times. LOL
So, what do you think I did??
I did the move I mastered by the age of 15 back in the suburbs of Rio de Janeiro! I snuck out, turned off the lights, told myself I had locked the cockroach in the bathroom (as if she was really confined by the door.. those things are sneaky and can go through tiny cracks.) and went my marry way to use another bathroom in the house. I told myself: Oh, it is only a cockroach. It will be gone by tomorrow.
The next day, I entered the bathroom again e for my pleasant surprise, it was no where to be found. I was quite happy with the disappearance of my walking nightmare. Finally, the night came. My husband was out meeting a friend and I was home alone with my 2 little chihuahuas, Paco and Puma. I had the whole house for myself and decided to take a nice, long shower. I undressed, grabbed my towel and headed to the shower. When I open the door, who is there to greet me again? Yes, to my horror, the roach was back! It was standing still, all self assured, facing me straight up, moving its antennas as if trying to anticipate my next move.
At first, our dance was similar to the one the night before.. I got startled, jumped and screamed and somewhat contained scream, wrapped myself with my towel and was ready to bolt. I thought: Jeesh, I guess I will not be able to shower now! I took one step back, ready to leave, when something inside me shifted. A new series of thoughts came to my mind. I thought:
Are you a woman or a cockroach Monica?
Take a good look at it, this “thing” that has caused you fear, what damage can it really cause you?
Why is this happening again with you? What is the lesson life is showing you and you are not seeing here?
What happens when you do not face what you need to face, right there and then, leaving your problems for later?
WELL, THE PROBLEM COMES BACK! IT DOES NOT DISAPPEAR!
All these questions rushed through my mind in a matter of seconds. I took a deep breath. Went to the kitchen, grabbed a broom and literally swept the cockroach out of my house! I did not want to kill it as I do not like killing things and I was actually grateful for the awareness that little creature was awakening in me. While I was sweeping the roach my heart was beating fast. I was still scared it could rush towards my feet or climb over me ( I have had them climb up my legs before, not a pleasant feeling, I tell you). BUT my desire to face my fear was greater! Once it ended I felt so good! I was proud of myself. I felt strong, brave and victorious! Not only for having removed the insect by myself but for all the self realization it brought me about how I sometimes react to the unexpected.
So, I entered the bathroom and took a wonderful, warm shower. I even sang! hehehe
Why am I writing about this? About an encounter with a cockroach! I am a believer that life gives us daily opportunities to learn more about ourselves and to improve. The problem is that we don't notice these lessons. They pass us by.
So, the cockroach here is a metaphor for the things we do not want to deal with.
How many “cockroaches” in our lives we avoid, in hopes they will simply DISAPPEAR while in reality they GROW?
How many times do we shrink and stop ourselves from doing what we want believing we will face huge obstacles but when we finally take a stand and do what we want, we realize those obstacles were not as big as we had initially thought?
How many thing do we want to accomplish and we do not do them because of fear?
We keep waiting that one day when we will not be fearful anymore but that day never arrives because if we always do the same thing, we will always get the same result. The word fearless equals = fear + less, so there is still fear there but just in a smaller amount than before, it is not Fear none. We do not need to wait not feel ANY fear to act. All we need is to observe fear, get to know it, understand what it is, what it wants to communicate to us, what it is trying to protect us from and if it is real or not. With fear or not, the most important thing to bring change is to ACT. Plan and act and later celebrate the steps you have taken.
A - Active
C - Commitment to
T- Take a STEP
I leave you with a warm hug and a reminder:
Do not avoid facing today the cockroach you will have to face tomorrow!
Monica Cristina Queiroz - Soul-Free Therapies